When Your Community is Going Through a Hard Time
Oversubscribed Newsletter
Season: Q2 2026
Spring Energy
Article by Amanda McGovern, PhD & Megan Hughes, PhD
Start with yourself, before you can help others
From living and practicing in Minneapolis, I have been witnessing the layered effects of individual and collective trauma and grief. Our community is in turmoil and our nervous systems are on fire. Megan and I thought it would be helpful to devote an article on how to cope when your community is going through a difficult time.
-Be intentional about your news consumption. Many of us want to stay informed, but the impact of seeing unpredictable, disturbing images and video content is profoundly distressing. Personally, I noticed myself gravitating more to my news applications during times of significant unrest in Minneapolis and then experiencing more anxiety, sadness, and feelings of helplessness. I found it helpful to determine my capacity even before seeking out the news and then doing a quick check-in with myself afterwards.
-Take care of yourself first. Since some communities are in constant need, you may find yourself overextended. It’s important to give yourself permission to take a moment to regroup. This might entail setting boundaries to avoid burnout. For instance, in Minneapolis, there have been constant mutual aid efforts to help provide food and supplies to individuals in need. If you need a moment to catch your breath, pause, identify your own needs, and then determine when you have the capacity to give again. Furthermore, always ensure that you are fulfilling your basic needs and routines first including sleep, eating, and exercise.
-It is critical to tune into your body. This is a time of hypervigilance and unpredictability which can disrupt our internal sense of safety. Setting intentional times to check in with yourself may be valuable. Furthermore, it may be helpful to engage in certain grounding exercises, including deep breathing, mindfulness meditation, yoga, etc.
-Gain awareness of your own emotional experience and validate your feelings. It is common to experience emotional distress during this time. Struggling against emotional responses often increases suffering. Instead of trying to “get rid” of the feeling, acknowledge and label the feeling.
-This is a time when we need to seek out social support. Increasing connection and communicating with family, friends, and members of one’s community can be helpful as a way of processing our emotions as well as restoring our sense of security.
-Practice self-compassion. Instead of criticizing ourselves for not coping better or not doing enough, treat yourself with kindness. We can change our inner dialogue (“I’m doing the best I can”), ask ourselves how we treat a friend, or soothe ourselves in different ways. Self-compassion is a tool for reducing self-criticism and building resilience.
-Engage in values-driven actions even if they are small and you are uncertain of their impact. During these challenging times, individuals can feel out of control and helpless. Behaving according to your values will strengthen your resolve and sense of agency.
-Seek professional support if you are having the following issues: persistent low or depressed mood, anxiety, insomnia, feelings of helplessness or hopelessness.
How do you parent during these times?
The National Child Traumatic Stress Network offers a variety of tools to help caregivers support children during times of community stress. The network provides resources tailored to many types of community stressors. The following suggestions are compiled from their tip sheets.
Common Reactions in Children
Children may have a range of reactions when their community is going through a difficult time. Their reactions may depend greatly on their proximity to the events, their age, any injuries or losses sustained, and their past experiences. Kids will also observe the reactions of the adults in their lives, (e.g., parents, relatives, teachers, and coaches), which can impact their reactions. Here are some common reactions to stressful situations that you may see in your children:
Worry and fear about the safety of self and others
Fears that another scary event may occur
Difficulty concentrating
Changes in activity level
Increase in emotions like irritability, anger, sadness, grief, withdrawal
Changing beliefs about the future
Changes (increase or decrease) in sleep or appetite
Changes in use of substances like alcohol or drugs
Complaining of headaches, stomachaches
Changes in school behavior, homework, friendships
Strong reactions to reminders of the event or increased sensitivity to loud noises
How to Support Your Children
Be available and open to conversations about the events
First, make it clear to your children that you are available to answer questions and provide emotional support. Remember, you don’t have to have all the answers right away, and you don’t have to force your kids to talk when they aren’t ready. There will be future opportunities. Have these conversations when you eat together or sit together, but try not to initiate the conversations at bedtime. This guide offers support for having conversations about difficult community events.
Help your child feel safe, and maintain routines
Listen to your children’s safety concerns. Let them know any changes your community is putting in place to help increase safety. Consistency is so important to children. When it is appropriate and safe to do so, have children return to the daily routines that they had before the events. Keep the same family rules like curfews, homework, and chores. You may want to keep a closer watch on teens and ask for more check-ins for a period of time until the environment is more stable.
Notice and discuss any acting out behaviors
Kids and teens might react to a traumatic experience by engaging in more risky behaviors (e.g., drugs, alcohol use, unsafe driving, unprotected sex). Here is some language the National Child Traumatic Stress Network suggests to use in these conversations: “Many children and adults feel out of control and angry right now. They might even think drinking or taking drugs will help somehow. It’s very normal to feel that way - but it’s not a good idea to act on it.” Follow up this discussion with alternative coping strategies including exercise and spending time with loved ones.
Intentionally reduce media exposure
Make sure your kids aren’t watching too much content about the events. Have conversations with them about what they are viewing online or hearing from friends on messaging or social media. It’s important for them to understand that excessive media and social media content can trigger more worries about future events, and that social media and messaging apps can have misinformation. Suggest that they come to you for accurate information and to talk about their concerns.
Notice and combat guilt/shame reactions
Sometimes children (and adults) engage in magical thinking, and believe that they could have done something different to prevent the bad event. They might think that the situation is their fault or a punishment. Make it clear that this is a common reaction to stressful events and having feelings of guilt doesn’t mean that they actually did something wrong.
Help kids respond to reminders of the events
Let your children know that sometimes reminders of the events can be upsetting. Help them distinguish between the actual event and the things that remind them of the event afterwards. That can be people, places, sounds, smells, and feelings. The Network for Enhancing Wellness in Disaster-Affected Youth (New Day) suggests helping kids come up with a phrase to tell themselves in the context of a reminder. Here is an example in the aftermath of a shooting. “I am upset because I am reminded of the shooting because the potato chip bag popped. But now there is no shooting and I am safe.”
We’ve listed resources below to help support youth during difficult times.